honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
