She's JV to your varsity
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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