Who did Billy Mays play for?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
