you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
