Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
