its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
