Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
