'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
