Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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