Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
