clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
