need another drink. this is the easiest way
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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