Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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