He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
this will be a night to untag.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
