I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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