We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
