very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
