so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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