I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
