im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
