you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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