somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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