I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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