Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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