I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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