It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
