he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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