There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
