did you get engaged???
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
