I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
