I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize