No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
