somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
