how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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