yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
