I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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