Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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