And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
