therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize