I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
