thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"