he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO