Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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