I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Randomize
