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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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