Why are handjobs necessary in class?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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