Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
