Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
