There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
tell me about the fingering
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