Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I queefed so loud it echoed.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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