How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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