I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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