I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
