he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
