Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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