Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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