This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize