I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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