Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
